Archive for May, 2005

GUYS, READ THIS! VERY APPLICABLE TO MEN!

Monday, May 30th, 2005

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year,
and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way,my friends
encouraged me, and my
girlfriend.

She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much
indeed, and that
one thing was her younger sister. My prospective
sister-in-law was
twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low
cut blouses.
She would regularly bend down when quite near
me and I got many a
pleasant view of her underwear.

It had to be deliberate.

She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come
over to check
the wedding invitations. She was alone when I
arrived. She
whispered to me that soon I was to be married,
and she had
feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t
overcome and didn’t
really want to overcome. She told me that she
wanted to make love
to me just once before I got married and
committed my life to her
sister.

I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and
if you want to go
ahead with it just come up and get me.”

I was stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. When she
reached the top she pulled down her panties and
threw them down
the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went
straight to the
front door.

I opened the door and stepped out of the house.

I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and
said, “We are very happy
that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t
ask for better
man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

The moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

CHINESE GOOD LUCK TANTRA TOTEM

Sunday, May 8th, 2005

THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK TANTRA TOTEM.

You may not believe in this but the advice is great!
Read all the way down, you might learn something!!!

 

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

                                                                   

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.

                                                                        

THREE.
Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

                                             

FOUR.
When you say, "I love you", mean it.

                                                                  

FIVE.
When you say, "I’m sorry", look the person in the eye.

                                                                        

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

                                                                   

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.

                                                                     

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who
don’t have dreams don’t have much.

                                                                            

NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt
but it’s the only way to live life completely.

                                                                        

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.

                                                                       

ELEVEN.
Don’t judge people by their relatives.

                                                                           

TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

                                                                     

THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don’t want
to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

                                                                      

FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great
achievements involve great risk.

                                                             

FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

                                                              

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

                                               

SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R’s:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.

                                                                  

EIGHTEEN.
Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

  []                                              

NINETEEN.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.

                                                                    

   TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone.
The caller will hear it in your voice.

                                                                        

TWENTY ONE.
Spend some time alone.

                                                   

Now, here’s the FUN part! This tantra totem has
been sent to you for good luck. It has been sent
around the world ten times so far. You will receive
good luck within four days of relaying this tantra
totem. Send copies to people you think need good
don’t send money as fate has no price.

 

Do not keep this message.
The tantra totem must leave your hands in
96 hours. You will get a very pleasant surprise.
This is true, even if you are not superstitious.
Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve.
0-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks.
15 and above: Your life will improve drastically!!

Posted in Religion | No Comments »

CHINESE GOOD LUCK TANTRA TOTEM

Sunday, May 8th, 2005

THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK TANTRA TOTEM.

You may not believe in this but the advice is great!
Read all the way down, you might learn something!!!

 

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

                                                                   

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.

                                                                        

THREE.
Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

                                             

FOUR.
When you say, "I love you", mean it.

                                                                  

FIVE.
When you say, "I’m sorry", look the person in the eye.

                                                                        

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

                                                                   

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.

                                                                     

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who
don’t have dreams don’t have much.

                                                                            

NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt
but it’s the only way to live life completely.

                                                                        

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.

                                                                       

ELEVEN.
Don’t judge people by their relatives.

                                                                           

TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

                                                                     

THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don’t want
to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

                                                                      

FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great
achievements involve great risk.

                                                             

FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

                                                              

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

                                               

SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R’s:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.

                                                                  

EIGHTEEN.
Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

  []                                              

NINETEEN.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.

                                                                    

   TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone.
The caller will hear it in your voice.

                                                                        

TWENTY ONE.
Spend some time alone.

                                                   

Now, here’s the FUN part! This tantra totem has
been sent to you for good luck. It has been sent
around the world ten times so far. You will receive
good luck within four days of relaying this tantra
totem. Send copies to people you think need good
don’t send money as fate has no price.

 

Do not keep this message.
The tantra totem must leave your hands in
96 hours. You will get a very pleasant surprise.
This is true, even if you are not superstitious.
Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve.
0-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks.
15 and above: Your life will improve drastically!!

Posted in Religion | No Comments »