Bouquet
by Oshi
Sometimes, we don’t see the people the way we
must see them. There’s something special about
this person but we don’t give importance to that.
Leading us to treat that person the way they didn’t
deserve. And as the saying goes, you cannot
understand the importance of something until it is
gone forever and will never come back
As I lay y head into the soft pillow of my bed,
memories flooded into me. Memories flashed back
like an old movie. I guess, it is in my fate to look
back, to reminisce. My old bones already failed
me so I have to do it here in my bed. And as I
close my eyes, it came, the happiest and the
saddest memories of my life. I became 19 again,
strong and full of confidence.
I stare at a very beautiful girl walking toward me.
She’s everything a man could want for a girl. I
watched her brown hair moved gently along the
wind. Her soulful eyes were sparkling as she had a
glimpse of me. She’s really beautiful! She’s totally
nice, sweet and cool. I’m so lucky to have her!
God! How I love this lady!
"Hi! Am I late?" she kissed my cheek. I looked into
her eyes. I always love looking into her soulful
eyes.
"Nah. It’s ok." I said.
"So what’s up? Where are we up to?" she asked
me as she sit beside me.
"I don’t know. Do you have any suggestions?"
"Mmm. There’s a good movie in the mall today.
Wanna go? Then maybe we could eat some ice
cream. I miss Andy’s strawberry ice cream
already." She said in reply.
Yes. How can I forget! Strawberry ice cream is her
favorite.
"Oh well. Let’s go then." I held her hand and we
walked to my car. We drove to the one only mall
during that time.
We watched a very good movie. Inside the movie
house, I kissed her lips. She didn’t refuse. This is
not the first time we kissed but there’s something
different now. I couldn’t figure out what is it.
After the movie, we ate ice cream. She looked like
a child when our ice cream was served. It’s one of
the characteristics that I love. She’s not
materialistic. She’s so down to earth.
Our relationship continues. Everyday, my love for
her grows.
But one day, my father needs to move to other city
because of work. It’s not so far from our place. It’s
just three cities away. So the entire family has to
move there too.
"Do you really have to go?" Helen said. Her eyes
were still beautiful, but this time, sadness is visible
in it.
"Yeah I’m sorry. But don’t worry. I’ll drive here at
least thrice a week. It’s just three cities away
anyway." I said. I don’t want to see her like that.
"Is that a promise?"
"I promise." I cupped her face and notice that her
lips were pale. And I could trace pain into her
eyes, but she’s hiding it.
"Are you eating enough? You look pale." I said.
"Oh! This! It’s nothing; I’m just sad because you’re
leaving." Then she bit her lips.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." She answered.
We were walking along the park holding hands.
Her hands were cold. But it’s cold anyway. Her lips
were pale again. ‘She’s just sad’, I said to my self.
"Jack." She called.
"Mmm?"
"I love you so much take care of yourself for me
ok?"
"Yeah I will." I kissed her and she kissed back. It’s
long and as if we’ll never kiss again.
Days passed. It became week. Weeks became
months. It was three months ago, I have adapted
easily in my new place. I have new friends, new
school and new lifestyle.
But then again, I didn’t forget my promise to visit
Helen thrice a week. And I never failed to call her
every night. I can say that our relationship is still
smooth.
Another 2 months passed but this time, it’s
different. I became busy with my new friends. We
go out almost every night. I’m still calling Helen but
for just a minute. And my visit was lessened. From
three times, it became twice, then once and often
times, none at all. But still, she understands.
I was talking to her one time on the phone.
"I miss you Jack. Can you find time to visit me?"
she said to me.
"Oh sweetie, I’m sorry. I’m too busy right now. I
have to finish my school project. Actually, I have to
do it now. I’m so sorry." I said.
"Oh! It’s ok. I understand just take your time."
"Thank you for understanding me Helen, I’m going
to make it up for you. I promise." I told her.
"You don’t have to thank me Jack, I love you and
I’ll always understand you. And besides, you have
to put studies as your first priority, not
me.
"
"No. You’re the first in my list of priorities Helen. I
love you." And then we hung up.
Days passed again so rapidly. But still, I didn’t find
time to visit my Helen.
"I thought you understand?! Can’t you see I’m
busy?! You don’t have to ask me that! You’ve done
that a million times now for God’s sake!" I said
angrily one time. She asked me again to visit her.
"Look here Helen. I know my obligations to you
alright? You don’t have to remind me of that! I told
you, if I find time, I’ll visit you. Can’t you
understand that?" I continued.
"I’m sorry Jack. Yeah of course I understand. I’m
sorry." She said apologetically. Then we hung up.
I’m still furious.
Since then, I’m always irritated. We always have
an argument. But each time it happens, she never
let the night die without saying sorry. And she’s
always forgiven.
One time she said to me in a very low and soft
voice.
"I’m not asking you to visit me now Jack. I know
you’re too busy. Just see me when you feel like
going. Just tell me. You’ll fond me very easily
Jack. I’m always waiting for you. Just come
whenever you want."
Once again, I’m irritated.
"You’re talking as if you’re not studying! How can
you say that huh?! Look, I’m studying, and so are
you! If you don’t want to study then fine! Just leave
me out of that because I don’t want your parents to
blame me. You’re always available huh?!"
Usually, when my voice is like that, an argument
will burst out. But this time, she remained calm.
"Yes Jack, always available. Goodbye for now
Jack. I love you so until my dying day."
That night, I had a dream. I’m still in my bed and
Helen visited me. She kissed my lips and said:
"I love you Jack. I love you till my last breath."
She’s in a white dress without slippers. She turned
her back from me and started to walk away. I’m
calling her but she can’t hear me. She continues
walking and finally, she’s gone.
I woke up catching my breath. It seemed so real!
God! And then something strikes me.
‘Yes! I love her! I really love her! She’s so dear and
precious to me! I shouldn’t have treated her that
way! She deserved more than that!’
I ran to the phone and dialed her number. I think
it’s already
2:00 AM
. I’m not thinking of the time.
All I’m thinking of that moment is Helen and how
am I going to say sorry. ‘She will not get angry
though. She loves me! I know she love me that’s
why she always understands me.’
Somebody answer the phone but it’s not Helen. I
talked to her and asked her who she is.
"I’m Helen’s nurse." She said.
‘Nurse!? Why on earth did she have a nurse?’ I
asked furiously to myself.
After talking to the nurse, I’m not myself anymore.
My eyes were focused to nothing. For a while, I
don’t know what to do. But then I came to my
senses. I scribble down a note to my parents and
hurried down to the garage. My car nearly flies to
Helen’s house.
When I got there, I knocked like hell to their front
door. Somebody answered the door and maybe
she’s Helen’s nurse.
"You’re Jack?" she asked.
"Yes. Where’s Helen? I need to see her now!"
"They rushed her to the hospital a minute ago. You
have to come with me. She said she wants to see
you." She said.
"Ok! Let’s use my car. Get in there! Move fast!" I
said impatiently. ‘God! God please save my Helen!’
While driving, I was praying so hard. I never prayed
this hard before.
"Hey nurse! What’s her room number?!"
"Oh! 209" she replied.
I hurried to room 209. I knocked on the door and it
bursts open.
Helen was there. She’s very, very pale. Her soulful
eyes can’t hide the pain she’s suffering. Her eyes
were not sparkling anymore. I don’t want to see her
that way!
"You came. I’m so glad you came." She said in a
very low voice. Like the one he has when we’re
talking on the phone.
"Yes. Of course, Helen." I said, forcing myself not
to cry. Her parents, knowing the solemnity of this
moment for us, leave.
"Thank you for your time Jack. I really appreciate
it"
"Why didn’t you tell me Helen? I was supposed to
know that from the very start."
"I love you Jack. I don’t want to bother you. I
always want you to be happy. You know how
much I love you Jack. I’ll give you everything if you
give me a chance."
"Oh Helen! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!" I
held her hand. It was very cold. I was crying hard. I
couldn’t help it.
"Don’t cry Jack. It’s ok. Can we dance?" she
asked.
"What? Helen, you’re very weak. You can’t." I don’t
want to turn her down again but I have to. She’s
very pale.
"No. Jack please? This is my last request from
you. This is my greatest dream, to die in your
arms. You’re the only person I treasure above all,
next to God, next to my family."
"Helen!" I help her to stand. I held her body next to
mine. She’s very thin! She rests her head into my
chest and whisper.
"Jack, I remember the only time you gave me
flowers. That was Valentine’s Day. I was so happy
that day, Jack. But you didn’t send me flowers
anymore after that. I wish I have received more
flowers from you."
"I’m sorry, Helen. If I have known"
"Don’t be sorry, Jack. I wouldn’t tell you about that
anyway. I would prefer to receive those flowers
because you want to give it to me, not because I
asked you to. I love you, Jack. I will die happily
because you’re by my side" she hugged me a
little tighter.
"Helen, please. Please fight for me. I’m so sorry for
all the pain. I can’t live without you." I said in a
misty voice.
"Don’t cry, Jack. Please don’t. I don’t want to see
you cry please? And it’s too late. I’m dying. I
know it. Angels are coming now Jack. I love you
so much. Goodbye." She kissed my lips and rests
her head again. Her embrace loosen. And she left
with a smile in her face
"Helen!!!" I cried so hard. I hugged her dead body
so tight. I don’t want to let go. She’s a precious
gem.
‘How dare me to treat her that way! She’s my life!
Now I’m lost. My Helen’s gone. She left me. And I
know it’s my entire fault.’
Tears flooded in my eyes. I became 59 again. I still
cry whenever I remember that moment. I still love
her. I still do. I didn’t bother to find another girl to
love. Helen’s memories are enough. She’s all I
want.
Helen died of cancer. When they found out all
about this, it’s already malignant, no cure. She
knows it from the very start but she pretended to
be ok. She doesn’t want to bother me.
After Helen’s death, I moved to our old place. I
moved away from my parents to be near Helen’s
memories. I continued to study of course, got a job
and retired. I bought Andy’s Ice Cream Parlor when
it’s about to be closed. My Helen wouldn’t want to
see it closed.
Thrice a week, I’ll visit her tomb. Bring her flowers
like she wished before. And everyday, I have a
strawberry ice cream beside my bed, but I’m not
eating it. It’s for my Helen. People call me a fool
but I don’t care.
And now, my wish will come true, finally. I’m dying.
I’m too old anyway. After the moment I’ve shared
with Helen, dying will be the happiest moment of
my life. I will be with my love, finally.
And yes, Helen was right. I could easily find her.
Her tombstone will be just, one block away from
mine.
Please do always take good care of your love one. Love her.please…
